For anyone unsure if a recent memory was a dream or reality - come on down! YOU’re (kind of) the next contestant on…”WAS! I! DREAMING!?” This episode is the crossover between Waking Life (Richard Linklater), The Game (David Fincher) and The Price is Right (Bob Barker) that absolutely no one asked for. In a post-reality world maybe it’s a good idea to test our boundaries a bit more. Odds are you won’t remember this show, but if you do - I sincerely hope you won’t remember whether it actually happened or not.
For anyone unsure if a recent memory was a dream or reality - come on down! YOU’re (kind of) the next contestant on…”WAS! I! DREAMING!?”
This episode is the crossover between Waking Life (Richard Linklater), The Game (David Fincher) and The Price is Right (Bob Barker) that absolutely no one asked for.
In a post-reality world maybe it’s a good idea to test our boundaries a bit more.
Odds are you won’t remember this show, but if you do - I sincerely hope you won’t remember whether it actually happened or not.
CREDITS:
Fugues is written and produced by Gabriel Berezin.
Original music composed by Grant Zubritsky.
Voiceover for Rod Roddie and Richard Linklater by Michael Giese
Script editing and audience voiceover by Monty Montan
Logo design by Justin Montan
Opening and closing music by Monuments (featuring Grant Zubritsky (bass), Robby Sinclair (drums) and Bryan Murray (saxophone), Gabriel Berezin (guitar))
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REFERENCES:
The Head Trip: Adventures on the Wheel of Consciousness
STUDIO AUDIENCE: WAS. I. DREAMING!
Inner Gabe: Welcome to “Was I Dreaming” the show that tests your ability to understand reality. I’m your host Gabriel Berezin
Inner Voice: (annoyed) And I’m his co-host, Gabe’s…Inner Voice…
Inner Gabe: What’s wrong Inner Voice?
Inner Voice: We’re doing a gameshow? You’re gonna do that stupid voice the whole time?
IG: Yup! On “Was I Dreaming,” we’re gonna listen to the story of a memory, and answer one, simple question -
Was it from a dream or waking life?
Rod, tell the audience what a fugue is!
ROD RODDIE: Well Gabe…in this podcast a fugue is any temporary state you’re in. This could be a dream you’re having. We call that a dream fugue. It could also be the state of remembering an experience. And that would be a memory fugue...make sense? Back to you Gabe!
IG: Thank you Rod!
IV: Let’s get this over with, am I a judge or…something. What’s my role…?
IG: (back to gameshow voice) Funny you should ask that, Inner Voice, you’re the next contestant on:
STUDIO AUDIENCE: WAS - I - DREAMING!
IV: (whining) Me? No…
IG: You normally know ALL my memories, both in dreams and waking life.
IV: Right…but…
IG: (gameshow voice again) But…for this episode, we’ve blocked you from this particular memory and it will be up to you to answer the question:
STUDIO AUDIENCE: WAS - I - DREAMING!
IV: How did you block me from a memory, is that even possible-
IG: Nevermind that. Now get ready for Dream Indecision 2024!
IV: How about Deal or no Deal, I’ll continue doing this stupid charade if you stop talking like an idiot game show host.
IG: (extra talk show hosty) No deal! Let’s get this fugue started!
STUDIO AUDIENCE: WAS - I - DREAMING!
NARRATOR: I was in a kayak in the middle of a large body of water.
The fog was so thick, I couldn’t see anything more than six feet ahead…
or behind me.
Like being in an airplane going through a cloud bank.
It was just wind, waves, and the sound of my own paddling.
Sometimes I saw what seemed like the mirage of land and trees (down inflect)
I also saw other shapes in the fog -
like creatures,
or to quote Prince from When Doves Cry, animals that strike curious poses that I…
couldn't quite recognize.
And as uncertain as I was about what any of those images were, I was never…afraid of them.
So…I paddled on
–
IG: Well, Inner Voice, what do you think?
AUDIENCE: “WAS - I - DREAMING!”
IV: (shrugs it off) I dunno. How the hell should I know? It just started!
IG: (under breathe) C’mon, we’re live.
IV: No we’re not.
IG: (gameshow-y) Okay, whattya think so far though.
IV: I’ll tell what I think when you drop the game show voice.
IG: Fine..it was giving me a headache anyway.
IV: Okay…Well I guess it seems dreamlike - it’s literally shrouded in fog.
IG: (gameshow host voice again) Okay! Here’s a hint!
IV: Dah!
IG: (clears throat) here’s a hint - when you’re in the dark, or if the surrounding environment is hard to identify, your mind hallucinates its best guess as to what’s out there.
IV: Like those long distance lake swims we used to do in Long Pond in Maine.
IG: (shudders) Yeah, de uh ep, murky, lake, and you can’t see the bottom.
IV: And humans don’t exactly see well underwater.
IG: So any unknown, moving shape always looks like…(embarrassed) sharks and crocodiles…
IV: Sharks and crocodiles…in a lake-
IG: -I know, it’s not exactly logical.
IV: Is that why you keep your eyes shut?
IG: Yup.
IV: What a baby.
IG: I get scawed.
IV: You are pretty physically vulnerable while swimming alone in a lake, so your body’s in a…light fear state. And fear triggers your mind to…conjure images that are scary to you.
IG: And in the absence of fear, in a scenario where we don’t quite know what something is out there, the images we see are more benign.
IV: And you were in a kayak -
IG: I was less exposed, i felt safer, so I wasn’t seeing any images that-
IV: -Made you scawed.
IG: So when we say “my eyes are playing tricks on me” it’s really my brain playing tricks o me.
IV: no shit. but yeah, you see how emotion can influence imagination (making connections), which definitely happens in waking life.
IG: (contrarian) But it happens in dreaming too. Your brain is literally building the environment as you experience it in a dream. So fear, or the absence of it, has the same impact.
IV: Wasn’t this supposed to help me.
IG: (gameshow voice) depends…are you any closer to answering…?
AUDIENCE: WAS I DREAMING
NARRATOR: So I paddled on
Then a new, more…recognizable shape emerged - A human man, far as I could tell from that distance.
He was…stranded I think on what looked like a paddle boat.
So I sped up to approach him.
He was a…big guy. He was shirtless and without a life jacket.
He had a long white beard and one of those bellies that, once it gets large enough, actually looks kind of cool (as opposed to a spare tire gut which somehow looks worse even tho it’s probably less of a cardiovascular risk).
Anyway he looked distressed, almost shell shocked, his eyes were glazed over.
And he wasn’t on a paddle boat. He was on a capsized sailboat.
For the record, I’m a pretty terrible sailor for a white guy -
I tried sailing a few times when I was younger and I just tipped - every time.
At least I knew a thing or two about getting them back up.
So I called out to Sailor Santa - “Sir…?”
Was that the right greeting for this context?
(tries it) Dude?
(tries it) Buddy?
How else do you address a panicked old guy in the middle of a…lake cloud?
I asked him point blank, “...Are you…okay?”
But his expression didn’t change. He just stared a hole through my face. i mean, i knew he could see me.
Maybe he didn’t speak english…?
So I asked again “Do you need help?”
IV: Okay, now I’m leaning dream.
IG: Oooo, controversial! Why?
IV: There’s a…weirdness to dream characters, sometimes they behave like NPCs
IG: NBCs?
IV: No, Non-player characters..
IG: Oh, right.
IV: “Oh, right” you don’t know what it means. Explain it then.
(pause)
IG: (non chalant) You do it.
IV: It’s an automated character in a video game that awaits prompts from the human player. This is often how dream characters behave.
IG: Makes me think of this quote from Richard Linklater, writer/director of Waking Life, the best movie I ever saw about lucid dreaming.
IV: Lucid dreaming, the phenomenon of knowing when you’re in a dream.
IG: Didn’t i say that?
IV: No
IG: Right, anyway, linklater describes the experience of becoming aware of the people in his dream:
RICHARD LINKLATER: Typically in that situation, once you’re really cognizant of the fact you are perceiving a mental model and the people are dream people…they get real quiet, because you’ve sort of robbed them of their...it gets a little tricky at that point.”
IV: Stunned Santa was like this. Seems like he was a phantom person. He never said one word.
IG: That’s true, he definitely seemed like an NBC.
IV: (annoyed) NPC. P!
IG: He was just waiting for me to do something.
IV: Maybe you weren’t just dreaming, you were lucid dreaming?
IG: Maybe, but you still gotta answer
AUDIENCE: WAS I DREAMING
NARRATOR: Maybe he didn’t speak english.
So I asked again “Do you need help?”
Then I realized he must have been exhausted. He’d clearly attempted to…right the ship numerous times and failed.
Looks like I caught him in the middle of a break.
And it was hard to know how close to any kind of shoreline we were, so I can only assume he was stuck in a…pride paradox now - relieved to see me, but also, annoyed he needed me.
Despite receiving zero encouragement, I paddled over to his boat, tied my kayak to his, and hopped in the water
IG: Do you make decisions in dreams? Because at some point I had a choice to help Sailor Santa.
IV: And you made one.
IG: Yeah.
IV: You remember Jeff Warren’s book Head Trip,
IG: Wicked underrated book, Head Trip, Adventures on the Wheel of Consciousness..
IV: He took numerous field trips to Dr. Stephen Lebarge’s–
IG: Field trips.
IV: What?
IG: Field trips for a Head Trip.
IV: He took numerous excursions to Dr. Stephen Lebarge’s Lucid Dreaming Lab and one of Dr. LeBarge’s assistants reported that one of her favorite dream fugues wasn’t one where she was lucid at all.
IG: Oh yeah, in this particular dream fugue, she was at a coffee shop and someone stole money from her.
IV: At first, she was indignant, and then she stopped herself…and questioned her own reaction.
IG: Right, she says she became more mindful in the moment, more compassionate.
IV: She asked her dream thief in her dream fugue what she needed and how she could support her.
IG: She paused and changed her behavior - in a dream!
IV: In other words, you can stop and make a decision in a dream.
IG: But sometimes you’re just reactive, on autopilot
IV: (getting it) Just like in waking life.
IG: Which begs the question…
AUDIENCE: WAS. I. DREAMING???
NARRATOR: I paddled over to his boat, tied my kayak to his, and hopped in the water.
As i swam to his boat, I watched him stare into the fog a while again, but this time he snapped out of it, and slid off his sailboat, into the lake, right next to me.
Without verbally confirming a plan of any kind, we both reached across the bottom of the boat, which faced the sky…leaned back and pulled until we could see the white sail floating just under the surface of the water.
I put both feet on the centerboard and shifted all my weight onto it, until it eventually flipped the whole boat upright.
Very satisfying.
Santa wasted no time.
As the wind pounded the mast, he climbed back on his boat..
I barely had time to untie my kayak from his, as he positioned the sail to catch the wind, and ruttered his way right on outta there.
It was like cleaning the dirt off a child’s skinned knee and sending him back to the playground.
He didn’t didn’t say a word, he didn’t look back, he just disappeared back into the fog.
IV: Is this…the end of the fugue?
IG: Yup!
IV: Hm…
IG: Well?-
AUDIENCE: WAS - I - DREAMING
IV: I’m leaning towards dreaming, but there’s one thing. This whole environment…on a lake, helping Santa with his boat. It never…changed…
IG: So…?
IV: Well, while you’re awake, you’re sitting in your living room staring at a plant, and when you look away, and look back, plant’s still there.
IG: Right…
IV: But in a dream, you look away from the plant, and look back,
IG: It’s a pineapple pizza, and you’re sitting at the peak of mount kilimanjaro.
IV: What a nightmare.
(pause)
IG: The pineapple pizza?
IV: (aside) Yea. Anyway, you’re sleeping, so there’s no visual information coming in to keep the imagery… consistent.
IG: There’s barely any sensory info coming in at all.
IV: Yeah, and throughout this fugue, weird as it was, the environment did stay…
IG: Anchored!
IV: Moored.
[FOGHORN SOUND]
IV: So…is sensory input the major difference?
IG: …Between what?
IV: Waking and dreaming.
IG: I dunno…but…is this…gonna change your final answer to-
AUDIENCE: WAS - I - DREE-
IV: -Who even cares!
IG: God dammit
IV: There’s this key brain system that helps generate our experience of the world.
IG: (pleasantly surprised) Oh, what’s it called?
IV: The thalamocortical system.
IG: Nevermind.
IV: There’s a 1991 study where researchers investigated …the neuroscience of dreams. And they concluded that this particular system is active, modeling the world, all the time.
IG: That thalamo…
IV: Cortical.
IG: Whatever…so what’s significant about that?
IV: (excited) The “all the time” part.
IG: (annoyed) Meaning.
IV: That it’s always creating some kind of model of the world.
IG: And it’s doing this regardless if it’s during a dream fugue or a waking fugue.
IV: (urgent) Yes
IG: Even during dreams when there’s barely any sensory information coming in.
IV: Right.
IG: So that means that…dreaming is actually the…baseline state.
IV: Yeah, we’re always dreaming.
IG: Like even when we’re awake. We’re…just-
IV: Dreaming with the lights on
IG: Dreaming with the lights on.
NARRATOR: And then I woke up. So weird, I was hosting a podcast called fugues and my co-host was my inner voice - he talks like this: “rowr rowr rowr.” And we were doing a stupid gameshow bit (sound scrambles.
IV: (Gameshow voice) Welcome back to
AUDIENCE: Am! I! Dreaming!
IV: You have to determine if you are dreaming right now! All you have to do now is test your dream environment!
IG: Test it…how?
IV: Have a look at the clock.
IG: What clock?
IV: The digital clock on the wall! Can you read the time?
IG: I don’t know, my eyesight feels off.
IV: Or is it just unstable b/c your brain can’t keep a steady image of a clock in your dream???
IG: Oh shit!
IV: Try flipping the light on!
IG: Okay (FX: light switch sounds)
IV: Are the lights coming on?
IG: Doesn’t…seem to be…
IV: Then you’re probably dreaming!
IG: Or the lightbulb is out.
IV: (still very gameshowy): Make a decision
IG: If I’m dreaming? I guess I do have…
IV: Free will? Find out!
IG: Okay. PLEASE FUCK OFFFFFF [FX: SUPER LONG TRIPPED OUT DELAY TAIL]
AUDIENCE: YOU MIGHT. BE. VERY POSSIBLY. BE DREAMIIIING AT THIS MOMENT!!
NARRATOR: And then I woke up…ORRRRRR
IV: You were awake.
IG: (legit asking) I’m awake?
IV: Yeah, I mean, no, for the Sailor Santa fugue, it was a memory…from waking life, the…not a dream…
IG: (excited he’s playing along - back to gameshow!) Oh, right! Okay, final answer?
IV: (annoyed) Yes.
IG: You gotta say it~
IV: (annoyed) Final answer.
IG: (gameshowy) Tell him what he’s won Rod!
ROD RODDIE: Thanks Gabe! This waking life event took place in Long Pond, near Southwest Harbor in Maine in the summer of 2005. And it’s true, Sailor Santa never. even. said thank you! Inner Voice, as our lucky winner, you get to choose from a prize showcase filled with…NOTHING! (said ecstatically)
IG: (Laughs)
IV: Shaddup
ROR RODDIE: Was I. am I. Yes, you probably are dreaming right now” is brought to you by Fugues Media all rights reserved.
Fugues is written and produced by Gabriel Berezin
Script editing and audience voiceover by Monty Montan.
Rod Roddie played by Michael Guise
Logo design by Justin Montan.
Music composition by Grant Zubritsky.
Have your pets spayed or neutered.
See you in the next dream fugue!